rhetorical conversation

The 15 golden rules of theatre etiquette

2009-06-29T13:30:14Z

Mel send me this, it is taken from Times Online.

This really really made me laught out loud. I'm glad I was on my lunch break.^^

The 15 golden rules of theatre etiquette
The play's the thing - so shhh. Our chief theatre critic explains what to do with your sweets, crisps and mobile phones
Benedict Nightingale

1 Don’t just switch off your mobile in response to what’s very likely a cute invitation from some fake-friendly voice. Make sure it’s off before you enter the theatre, thus making sure that you’re not publicly humiliated by Richard Griffiths or A.N. Other.

2 Never whisper, let alone talk, during the performance. If you’re hard of hearing, hire a loop rather than bother your companion for info about the plot. And don’t hum along with songs, even if they’re by Rodgers and Hammerstein.

3 Don’t bring picnics. In fact, don’t eat anything, not even your fingernails, even if the play is, well, nail-biting. If you must buy an ice cream in the interval, make sure you finish it and dispose of the carton before the restart. The scraping at remnants sounds like scratching on a wall.

4 If you fear that you’ll cough, bring a handkerchief to smother your mouth and pastilles to put in it. Considerate theatregoers would rather asphyxiate than interrupt a good actor.

5 Always apologise if someone is forced to stand as you make your way to your seat, but if you are late (and you should never be) reduce your apology to a quick, sorrowful nod.

6 Don’t clap actors’s entrances, even if they’re famous, or their exits, even if they make them in the swaggering style that half-invites applause. All this is dated and naff and makes you look like a celeb-hungry prat.

7 Have nothing to do with standing ovations unless a performance is close to a once-in-a-lifetime experience. In America such ovations have become meaningless and, if they don’t occur, they indicate disapproval. We don’t want them to become regular here.

8 If a friend is on stage in a comedy or farce, or has written one, don’t pile on the laughter. The artificiality is usually transparent enough to make failure more and not less likely.

9 If you must go to that often obnoxious, spuriously glitzy occasion, the first night, don’t ponce about pretending to be an important guest, even if you are one. Think of your fellow audience members and the actors, both of whom want to get on with the show. And that show isn’t about you.

10 No need to dress up, let alone wear dinner jackets and evening gowns, as was once the case. But try to be a little better dressed than the critics, who often look as they’ve been grabbed from a washing machine that hasn’t yet been turned on.

11 If you see a sleeping critic don’t necessarily wake him or her up, as guilt is likely to ensure that his or her review is more favourable than it might otherwise be. But don’t let him sleep too deeply or he may (and this has happened) crash into or across an aisle, causing injury to the innocent. And snoring is unacceptable, whoever does it and however awful the show.

12 If critics irk you by scratching notes on a pad, be forgiving. They’re only doing their jobs. And virtually all critics accept that lighted pens, once common, are now verboten. If you see a critic turn one on, whisper something tactfully germane, like “you blind sod, switch it off”.

13 If the child you’re bringing is chatty, gag it. If it’s fidgety, handcuff and shackle it. And if you’re altruistic enough to bring a school party to a Shakespeare matinée, threaten potential wrongdoers with tickets to the next revival of Timon of Athens, to be followed by a ten-page essay on the ethics of Apemantus.

14 Try your hardest not to be tall, which means shunning headgear and primped-up hair. And if you can’t help your height, ask for a seat on the aisle or somewhere where you won’t interfere with people’s sightlines.

15 If you are maddened by a fellow member of the audience, postpone a serious or violent encounter until a suitable pause in the action, preferably the interval. But usually a schoolmarmy stare and an English sniff, followed by a reproachful smile, will suffice.

Bloodlines RPG

2009-06-11T23:39:54Z

Last night, the five highest ranking Aurors on the squad ended up dead. And it looks like whatever killed them may be contagious....

***

Bloodlines is a post-Deathly Hallows, non-epilogue compliant Harry Potter roleplaying game set four years after the Battle of Hogwarts. The focus of the game is on building strong, dynamic characters, exciting plotlines, and an overall good story as the characters move through their daily lives in a world thrown once again into upheaval. The mods are active both in playing and plotting, and players are encouraged to become involved in existing plots and to create their own stories and characters.

Our roster of level one characters only lacks Neville! Others are still available and needed, including Michael, Terry, Padma, Parvati, Dean, Seamus...many others. Join us!

Story | About | Characters | Rules | Jobs | Application

Now casting! Currently in pre-game brainstorming phase.
Gameplay begins July 4, 2009.

Meme: 28 questions

2009-06-10T12:36:20Z

I snagged this meme from rosaline924

1. Your middle name:
2. Age:
3. Single or taken:
4. Favorite movie:
5. Favorite song or album:
7. Dirty or clean:
8. Tattoos and/or piercings:
9. Do we know each other outside of LJ?
10. What's your philosophy on life?
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
13. What is your favorite memory of us?
14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so no "world peace" crap) - what are they?
17. Can we get together and make a cake?
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
19. What is your big weakness?
20. Do you think I'm a good person?
21. What was your best/favorite subject at school?
22. Describe your accent.
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
24. What do you wear to sleep?
25. Trousers or skirts?
26. Cigarettes or alcohol?
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?

What Planet Are You From?

2009-06-04T19:24:17Z

You Are From Mars

You're energetic, athletic, and totally hyperactive.
You love playing sports and being in the middle of all of the action.
You're independent, courageous, and brave. You aren't afraid to do things your way.
As Mars, you can be reckless, quick tempered, and a little too spontaneous.
So think before you act - and resist your natural urges to dominate others.

What Planet Are You From?

Eminem vs. Bruno

2009-06-01T20:17:39Z

Has anyone seen the MTV Movie Awards?

I couldn't stop laughing when Bruno landed on Eminem. For everyone who has missed it:

The quality is pretty bad, but you get the idea...

Literature meme

2008-06-25T14:08:00Z

I've picked this one up from willoweese

"The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they've printed."

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your own LJ so we can try and track down these people who've read 6 and force books upon them ;-)

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible I was raised katholic and in Bavaria... though I haven't read all of it...
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens My favourite book by Dickens...
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare Well, the greater part, but some pieces are still missing.
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen I have a presentation on it in two days
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding (only the first book though)
69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
8 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte's Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery That's my fav book
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams That's my second fav book
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Funny page

2008-04-05T11:30:15Z

Just in case you didn't know this site, give it a try.

You'll find all kind of movies cut to 30 seconds staring bunnies. ^^

http://www.angryalien.com/

Book review: Hallucinating Foucault

2008-03-09T14:59:24Z

As I have nothing else to write about *cough*, here's my last eMAG article. I really enjoyed reading Patricia Duncker's novel. Maybe you'd like to try it...

Hallucinating Foucault
Hallucinating whom?

The University of Augsburg has the tradition to invite contemporary authors, offering students to broaden their horizons with literature that isn't as dusty as good old Shakespeare and Goethe. Over the last few years we had the chance to listen to select authors such as Nicholas Shakespeare, Sebastian Barry and Wendy Cope, just to name a few. Last term eMAG had the pleasure of meeting Patricia Duncker. Apart from her most recent novel Miss Webster and Chérif we eventually talked about her first book, Hallucinating Foucault.

The unnamed narrator, a 22 year old Cambridge student, is working on his thesis on the works of the fictional French author Paul Michel. Fascinated by the impressive prose the narrator doesn't account any importance to Michel's life. His girlfriend, referred to as the Germanist, is shocked when she discovers this attitude, convinced that you can only write a good thesis on someone you're in love with. After informing the narrator that Paul Michel has been admitted to a mental institution in France with paranoid schizophrenia the hero sets out to find him, unsure about his motives for that journey. Arriving in Paris he discovers that Michel is no longer there. Instead he comes across old letters and discovers the unique writer-reader relationship between the philosopher Michel Foucault and the poet Paul Michel. Continuing his Odyssey to Clermont-Ferrant the narrator finally finds Michel, taking him by surprise as the poet suddenly appears in a clinic room.

At first the room was empty. I lit a cigarette. I didn't hear him come in. At first the room was empty. Then there was a man standing terribly close to me, too close, looking straight into my face. He was thin, pale, unshaven, his T-shirt hung limp and stained against his chest. His eyes were alight – savage, glittering.
'Comment tu t'apelles, toi? You're English, aren't you?'

Drawn to the charismatic Michel, the narrator tries to free the poet from his self chosen imprisonment and ultimately gets him a temporary leave from the institution. Both set to the south of France, eventually starting a passionate relationship, but there is always the sense of silent pain in the air. Yet the narrator doesn't dare to ask Michel about his letters to Foucault which seem to have something to with the poets suffering...

During the eMAG interview Patricia Duncker mentioned that Michael Foucault never considered himself very attractive and that she got the impression that the philosopher always longed to be an author of fiction. As Foucault looks like “sex on wheels” to her she decided to “set things right” and wrote a present in the forms of Foucault's alter ego Paul Michel: an impulsive novelist that is dangerously attractive and, above all, hopelessly in love with the philosopher.

Patricia Duncker has written an amazingly thrilling book that you'll finish in one go. It's twists and turns implicate you more and more into the dark story which is even more appealing if you're familiar with Foucault's works and thesis that are embedded throughout the novel. Read Hallucinating Foucault, get yourself informed about Foucault's works, then read the book again. You definitely won't regret it!

Michel Foucault?

That name sounds familiar, doesn't it? But you cannot really tell where you've heard it before? Okay, here's a short reminder for you who this ominous person actually is: Michel Foucault, born in October 1926 in France, is one of the most important philosophers of the 20th century. Furthermore he worked as a historian and sociologist. His works deeply influenced literature and society. Actually they still do, even though his contemporaries have criticized him more than once, the most famous ones being Noam Chomsky and Jacques Derrida. Still, Foucault continued his work, gave famous lectures at the University of California, Berkeley and held a chair at the Collège de France. He died in June 1984 of AIDS. Back then, very little was know about the disease so that many dismissed Foucault's death as the result of his homosexuality.